Saturdays, around 08:00 UTC. That's the standing slot, which means you get all week to think about what you're going to ask her for first. She's 54, South African, blonde and curvy with short hair and hazel eyes that stay on you — until she turns around, and then that big ass is doing all the talking.

Tell her to oil it. Her hands move slow, the shine spreading up over her ass, over her big tits, her thick nipples hard between her own fingers while the twerk keeps rolling. Shaven, slick, big clit on display, grinning because she knows exactly why you've gone quiet. Ask and she'll take a good look at yours and tell you what she thinks of it. Put her toes in it, put a toy in her hands and let your tokens set the rhythm.

Twenty-four thousand people follow her; thirteen have rated her above four stars. Private costs nothing per minute, so there's no reason to stay on the outside of the door. Clear your Saturday morning.